Ice Cream Man
In the small town of Bayleen Bay, Jared (Charlie Zeltzer, TV's 'Thomas & Friends: All Engines Go') has just faced the humiliation of being called 'the greatest player to have on the other team,' but it's Jared who is astute enough to realize there is something not at all right about the new "Ice Cream Man."
Laura's Review: C
Cowriter (with Noah Belson)/director Eli Roth ("Hostel") follows up his "Thanksgiving" with dessert, but the ice cream, while tasty at first, drops off its cone and splats to the ground when it gets to the stickiness of plot mechanics. It's too bad as this is a film that has kids referring to "Glengarry Glen Ross" at home plate on the baseball field and a parody of "The Birds" with feral kids instead of crows set to the refrains of that film's 'Risseldy Rosseldy' nursery rhyme. There is plenty of sick humor on display as well, body parts used in all kinds of imaginative ways and one adult's death is a three step marvel of comic timing. The bashed in head of a teacher is done up to resemble third grade macaroni art, complete with googly eyes.
The concept is simple, an ice cream man (Ari Millen, TV's 'Orphan Black') rolls into town and serves up free treats that make kids murderous toward adult authority figures. He's a Pied Piper of mayhem in a retro truck adorned with a twirling soft serve mascot called Merle whose eyes follow his customers. Creepily, it rolls through the streets at night, kids appearing backlit in neighborhood windows. When one mom awakens to find her daughter Piper (Charlie Storey, "Thanksgiving") standing by her bedside, Piper will suddenly brandish a hacksaw.
The film begins to run out of gas when it turns to the motivation behind the madness, trotting out a cliche that will involve a priest (Benjamin Byron Davis, "Borderlands"), and while sick humor can't exactly be described as tasteful, the sight of Officer Salinger (Ryan Allen), who is black, being dragged behind that truck, is cringeworthy, bringing to mind the horrific death of James Byrd Jr. Practical effects aren't always particularly convincing.
Millen has no dialogue, left to create a character with facial expressions and gestures, something that only goes so far. Eli Roth and his human "Thanksgiving" turkey Karen Cliche star as Jared and Lizzy's parents, but it's the kids who really shine here, Zeltzer shouldering the film ably assisted by Storey and Luke Dietz, amusing as Piper's older brother and Jared's best friend. As Jared's older sister Lizzie, Sarah Abbott, who resembles Maika Monroe, impresses with her physical contortions when her arms are 'paralyzed.'
"Ice Cream Man" is good for a few chuckles for those who are impervious to gore, but it could have been so much better had its world been arranged like a sundae instead of plopped on a cone.
Robin's Review: C-
It is the beginning of an idyllic small-town summer with the bees buzzing and the birds chirping. There is even an ice cream truck where tasty treats are given to all the kids. Then, they begin to murder all the adults in "Ice Cream Man."
I am not giving away anything but the point of Eli Roth's latest horror flick only comes to real light as the very final scene rolls and the camera pulls away. Up to then, it is a steadily unfolding gore fest. Granted, when the kids get going bumping off the adults, there is a whole bunch of teeth-clenching imagination in the murders.
The result is, director Roth magically takes an 86 minute horror movie and makes it feel like 3+ hours of visual mayhem. Along the way, the filmmaker has lots of murders in the storytelling but the story meanders around kids killing parents. It is a one note story that feels way too long.
I am not, by any stretch of the imagination, a fan of horror films. I am a guy who loves movies, though, and can appreciate good filmmaking – even if it is a horror movie. I do not consider "Ice Cream Man" a good movie.
The Horror Collective releases "Ice Cream Man" in theaters on 8/7/26.
